Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Why I Hate Him
Just The Facts
- Nicholas Sparks is an author who churns out about one romance novel a year.
- All of these books are almost immediately made into movies.
- All of these books are the same book.
Nicholas Sparks on Nicholas Sparks
In a recent interview with USA Today, Nicholas Sparks criticized Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Ernest Hemingway, and romance novelists in general for essentially writing the same story over and over:
"(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You've got a woman, she's down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he's got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after."
But he claims that he is not a romance novelist. He is a fiction writer who writes love stories.
"You read a romance because you know what to expect. You read a love story because you don't know what to expect."
Really Nicholas Sparks? Really?
"(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You've got a woman, she's down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he's got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after."
But he claims that he is not a romance novelist. He is a fiction writer who writes love stories.
"You read a romance because you know what to expect. You read a love story because you don't know what to expect."
Really Nicholas Sparks? Really?
Nicholas Sparks Movies
A Walk to Remember
Landon, a rebellious high school student, meets Jamie, the booksmart daughter of a pastor. At first, they have a rocky friendship because they are from different worlds. Jamie offers to help Landon learn lines for a school play if he promises to not fall in love with her. They grow close, but Jamie repeatedly rejects him. Jamie's father does not approve of the relationship.
Then tragedy strikes. Jamie tells Landon that she has Leukemia and is dying and therefore they cannot be together. Landon is forced to reconcile with his estranged father, a doctor who sets up treatment for Jamie. Despite the tragedy, Jamie and Landon continue to grow deeper in love.
They get married and a few months later, Jamie dies.
The Notebook
Noah, a local country boy, falls in love with young heiress, Allie. Since...they are from different worlds, she...repeatedly rejects him. Allie's parents...do not approve of the relationship, which eventually causes them to reluctantly break up. Allie regrets breaking up with him.
Noah writes to her letters every day and she never responds. Noah goes off to fight in World War II and Allie meets another man and gets engaged. Noah comes back from war and meets up with Allie, who tells him that she is engaged. Allie asks why he never wrote her. They make love. The next day, Allie's mother gives her all 365 letters Noah wrote, which she had been hiding from her. She tells Allie that her fiancee knows about Noah. Allie chooses Noah.
Fast forward to the future, and it is discovered that Allie has Alzheimer's and can't remember Noah or her life story. Noah reads from a notebook that contains the above story. That day, Allie miraculously remembers Noah. The next morning, they both wake up in bed together in each other's embrace. Dead.
Nights in Rodanthe
Paul, a surgeon, meets Adrienne at a bed and breakfast in Rodanthe, North Carolina. They fall in love. Paul then goes to South America to...Hold on. Something's not right here. Neve rmind. Paul goes to South America to...reconcile with his estranged son, who is a doctor treating local villagers. Paul helps his son treat the villagers. Paul continues to write letters to Adrienne and their love grows.
Then tragedy strikes. Paul is killed in a South American mudslide.
But, Paul's son thanks Adrienne for changing his father and allowing them to reconcile. Because Paul is dead.
Dear John
John, a simple soldier in the Army, falls in love with sophisticated college student, Savannah, while on leave. They grow closer until John must return to the Army. John must choose to stay in the Army, or be with Savannah. He chooses to stay in the Army. John and Savannah write letters back and forth, but eventually drift apart. Savannah gets engaged while John is in the Army...Wait. Hold on. I think this is the wrong book. I think this is the summary for...No, I'm sorry. I guess it is Dear John. Sorry. Anyway, John comes back from war to spend time with his estranged father, who had a heart attack. John and his father were never close, but they...reconcile shortly before John's father dies. Hold on again. Sorry, this is might be Nights in Rodanthe. No, sorry again. This is from Dear John. So, then John goes to visit Savannah.
Then tragedy strikes. Savannah tells John that her husband has cancer. Wait. What the fuck is going on here? Sorry. I guess this is getting confusing. So, John sells his father's prized coin collection to pay the medical bills and goes back to war.
Savannah's husband dies.
Last Song
The question of which estranged parent the main character reconciles with is immediately apparent in the first chapter of the book when you find out that the main character gets along with her mom. The only question remains is who will get cancer and die. Ronnie, the main character, and her little brother Jonah are reluctantly spending the summer with their estranged father. Ronnie meets Will at the beach and they fall in love. Will is from a wealthy and powerful family. Their romance blossoms. But Will's parents...do not approve. Despite that, their romance continues. Ronnie's friend reconciles with her mother. So now side characters are reconciling with their parents too, I guess. That's different, so we'll give him that.
Then tragedy strikes. Ronnie's dad is diagnosed with (wait for it...) cancer and is dying. Seriously, it's like this guy only know one possible bad thing that could happen to people. No one gets laid off or diagnosed with a lumbar strain. Fuck this guy.
At the end of the summer, Ronnie decides to stay with her father to reconcile with him. She finishes a piano composition that her father had been working on. Her father dies. She asks her mother to send her letters that her father wrote her, but that she never got a chance to read. Holy fucking shit. He's got to be doing that on purpose. It doesn't even make any sense. No one even uses the mail any more. It's like this guy spent every day of his childhood reconciling with his parents, getting cancer, and writing letters to people that never got read them.
Ronnie moves back to New York and Will transfers colleges to be with her.
Landon, a rebellious high school student, meets Jamie, the booksmart daughter of a pastor. At first, they have a rocky friendship because they are from different worlds. Jamie offers to help Landon learn lines for a school play if he promises to not fall in love with her. They grow close, but Jamie repeatedly rejects him. Jamie's father does not approve of the relationship.
Then tragedy strikes. Jamie tells Landon that she has Leukemia and is dying and therefore they cannot be together. Landon is forced to reconcile with his estranged father, a doctor who sets up treatment for Jamie. Despite the tragedy, Jamie and Landon continue to grow deeper in love.
They get married and a few months later, Jamie dies.
The Notebook
Noah, a local country boy, falls in love with young heiress, Allie. Since...they are from different worlds, she...repeatedly rejects him. Allie's parents...do not approve of the relationship, which eventually causes them to reluctantly break up. Allie regrets breaking up with him.
Noah writes to her letters every day and she never responds. Noah goes off to fight in World War II and Allie meets another man and gets engaged. Noah comes back from war and meets up with Allie, who tells him that she is engaged. Allie asks why he never wrote her. They make love. The next day, Allie's mother gives her all 365 letters Noah wrote, which she had been hiding from her. She tells Allie that her fiancee knows about Noah. Allie chooses Noah.
Fast forward to the future, and it is discovered that Allie has Alzheimer's and can't remember Noah or her life story. Noah reads from a notebook that contains the above story. That day, Allie miraculously remembers Noah. The next morning, they both wake up in bed together in each other's embrace. Dead.
Nights in Rodanthe
Paul, a surgeon, meets Adrienne at a bed and breakfast in Rodanthe, North Carolina. They fall in love. Paul then goes to South America to...Hold on. Something's not right here. Neve rmind. Paul goes to South America to...reconcile with his estranged son, who is a doctor treating local villagers. Paul helps his son treat the villagers. Paul continues to write letters to Adrienne and their love grows.
Then tragedy strikes. Paul is killed in a South American mudslide.
But, Paul's son thanks Adrienne for changing his father and allowing them to reconcile. Because Paul is dead.
Dear John
John, a simple soldier in the Army, falls in love with sophisticated college student, Savannah, while on leave. They grow closer until John must return to the Army. John must choose to stay in the Army, or be with Savannah. He chooses to stay in the Army. John and Savannah write letters back and forth, but eventually drift apart. Savannah gets engaged while John is in the Army...Wait. Hold on. I think this is the wrong book. I think this is the summary for...No, I'm sorry. I guess it is Dear John. Sorry. Anyway, John comes back from war to spend time with his estranged father, who had a heart attack. John and his father were never close, but they...reconcile shortly before John's father dies. Hold on again. Sorry, this is might be Nights in Rodanthe. No, sorry again. This is from Dear John. So, then John goes to visit Savannah.
Then tragedy strikes. Savannah tells John that her husband has cancer. Wait. What the fuck is going on here? Sorry. I guess this is getting confusing. So, John sells his father's prized coin collection to pay the medical bills and goes back to war.
Savannah's husband dies.
Last Song
The question of which estranged parent the main character reconciles with is immediately apparent in the first chapter of the book when you find out that the main character gets along with her mom. The only question remains is who will get cancer and die. Ronnie, the main character, and her little brother Jonah are reluctantly spending the summer with their estranged father. Ronnie meets Will at the beach and they fall in love. Will is from a wealthy and powerful family. Their romance blossoms. But Will's parents...do not approve. Despite that, their romance continues. Ronnie's friend reconciles with her mother. So now side characters are reconciling with their parents too, I guess. That's different, so we'll give him that.
Then tragedy strikes. Ronnie's dad is diagnosed with (wait for it...) cancer and is dying. Seriously, it's like this guy only know one possible bad thing that could happen to people. No one gets laid off or diagnosed with a lumbar strain. Fuck this guy.
At the end of the summer, Ronnie decides to stay with her father to reconcile with him. She finishes a piano composition that her father had been working on. Her father dies. She asks her mother to send her letters that her father wrote her, but that she never got a chance to read. Holy fucking shit. He's got to be doing that on purpose. It doesn't even make any sense. No one even uses the mail any more. It's like this guy spent every day of his childhood reconciling with his parents, getting cancer, and writing letters to people that never got read them.
Ronnie moves back to New York and Will transfers colleges to be with her.
A Man Without Equal
"There are no authors in my genre. No one is doing what I do." - Actual quote from Nicholas Sparks. It looks like several thousand people are doing what you do.
Do it Yourself Nicholas Sparks Book Covers
We asked you to create your own Nicholas Sparks book cover and post it on our Facebook wall. We've selected the winner, but first the runners-up:
by. Crystal Byrd
by. Matt Conner
by. Steven Sanchez
by. Matthew Hevey
and
by. Meggie Nidever
by. Timothy Schattenjager
by. Angel Caminero
by. Ashley Carver-Holcombe
And your winner...
Congratulations to Matt Dupree.
Check out the rest of the entries here.
Read more: Nicholas Sparks | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-4725-nicholas-sparks/#ixzz1yH3hpNyy
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Back in New York
I really just do not understand this city.
Penn station has two Starbucks right next to each other. I'm not talking just around the corner like most of the city, but they are literally within a couple hundred feet. And they're both packed, so I can't even criticize it. I think this bothers me so much because I really want Starbucks right now but I refuse to stand in those lines.
Nobody gives you a receipt. I ordered a #4 for breakfast at McDonald's which turned out the breakfast burritos. I have no idea why I said #4 when I knew I wanted a #6, and I have no idea why the cashier thought I looked like someone who wanted breakfast burritos, but I'm not happy about it. Because if she just gave me a receipt I would have been able to change my order before they cooked it.
All I want is a good breakfast in the city with a place to sit down and have free wifi. These are mutually exclusive things. A good breakfast place will try to pull you in and push you out in the minimum amount of time possible, or they severely limit the amount of places you can actually sit. And last time I said there is free wifi everywhere. It's still true, but since there's no way to actually even use it, it's kind of a mute point. Thus I end up back in McDonald's.
I also may have fell asleep on my train ride up from Baltimore and had nobody wake me up. So the conductor comes by and says "excuse me sir, we're in New York." I'm completely in a fog cause I'm embarrassed and rushing...and they apparently left the arrival station and had moved into the departure station. Which meant while I was trying to get out of there, everyone else was coming down to get on. It was awkward.
I'm really disappointed that there is no couch in the middle of the Manhattan that I can go to and take a nap on for the 2 1/2 hour I get between arriving in Penn station and actually having to be at work. You're probably thinking: "Bobby, be productive! Do your homework. Shop for Father's Day." That's what I do while I'm at work and they have nothing for me to do. This is supposed to be "free time," which is synonymous with sleep really, and I have no interest in EVER changing that.
Also, to be blunt, New York is a really ugly and dreary city compared to DC. I just don't get everyone's obsession with moving here.
Penn station has two Starbucks right next to each other. I'm not talking just around the corner like most of the city, but they are literally within a couple hundred feet. And they're both packed, so I can't even criticize it. I think this bothers me so much because I really want Starbucks right now but I refuse to stand in those lines.
Nobody gives you a receipt. I ordered a #4 for breakfast at McDonald's which turned out the breakfast burritos. I have no idea why I said #4 when I knew I wanted a #6, and I have no idea why the cashier thought I looked like someone who wanted breakfast burritos, but I'm not happy about it. Because if she just gave me a receipt I would have been able to change my order before they cooked it.
All I want is a good breakfast in the city with a place to sit down and have free wifi. These are mutually exclusive things. A good breakfast place will try to pull you in and push you out in the minimum amount of time possible, or they severely limit the amount of places you can actually sit. And last time I said there is free wifi everywhere. It's still true, but since there's no way to actually even use it, it's kind of a mute point. Thus I end up back in McDonald's.
I also may have fell asleep on my train ride up from Baltimore and had nobody wake me up. So the conductor comes by and says "excuse me sir, we're in New York." I'm completely in a fog cause I'm embarrassed and rushing...and they apparently left the arrival station and had moved into the departure station. Which meant while I was trying to get out of there, everyone else was coming down to get on. It was awkward.
I'm really disappointed that there is no couch in the middle of the Manhattan that I can go to and take a nap on for the 2 1/2 hour I get between arriving in Penn station and actually having to be at work. You're probably thinking: "Bobby, be productive! Do your homework. Shop for Father's Day." That's what I do while I'm at work and they have nothing for me to do. This is supposed to be "free time," which is synonymous with sleep really, and I have no interest in EVER changing that.
Also, to be blunt, New York is a really ugly and dreary city compared to DC. I just don't get everyone's obsession with moving here.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sydney wonders...
A: did Bobby die from a too epic episode of Legend of Korra?
B: is Patrick the new YouTube?
LOVE YOU BOTH! <3
B: is Patrick the new YouTube?
LOVE YOU BOTH! <3
I Love Rollercoasters
Guess who gets to go to Six Flags in Jersey and Hershey Park next week... this guy!
And yes... I will be riding this...
And yes... I will be riding this...
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Legend of Korra
These last two episodes have been incredible. I love this show. I love this show. I love this show.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Really... you all are like in your 30s
So... I was extremely surprised to learn that my office plays this song every Friday and apparently they have videotaped them dancing to it in a semi-music video... wow...
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Sydney LOLed at...
http://whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com/post/24391201980/when-someone-tries-to-wake-me-up-on-a-monday
http://whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com/post/23747274741/when-someone-tries-to-talk-to-me-while-i-m-napping
http://whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com/post/23747274741/when-someone-tries-to-talk-to-me-while-i-m-napping
Sydney discovered...
That ads have taken over #WhatShouldWeCallMe... I do NOT want to watch a trailer for Lola... I want to laugh hysterically at random gifs.
-____-
And someone needs to steal away my credit card. I shop too much. :/
-____-
And someone needs to steal away my credit card. I shop too much. :/
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Jukebox the Ghost!!!
New album came out yesterday!!!
I pre-ordered it so I can email it out if you all want them.
I pre-ordered it so I can email it out if you all want them.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Screenwriting Class
Chinatown was the first movie we watched in my Screenwriting class this summer. Holy crap it's good. I mean, it is considered one of the best screenplays ever written by the Writer's Guild, so it makes sense that this (and many other) classes lead off with it. Granted, that list doesn't contain a single animated movie, which I think makes it pretty flawed. But that said, the movie is superb. It's one of Jack Nicholson's earlier films and his performance takes the movie to that next level. It also teaches a lot of the basics of screenplay writing that i didn't know existed and i think are pretty self-explanatory. For example, on or around page 3 of every (decent-good) movie will state a "thesis". In the social network, it's the line "there is a difference between being motivated and being obsessed," ironically muttered by Mark himself. Then by page 10, there is a conflict: "You may think that girls won't date you because you are a nerd, but it's really because you're an asshole." Page 30 has the first plot twist (the winklevii approach mark) and on page 90 we get the second plot twist (Sean parker approaches mark). It makes so much sense organizationally, but I guess i'd never seen it put into such defined words like that. Anyway, watch this movie. It's a little too long, but the payoff at the end is worth it. I also had a sudden urge to watch Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Eternal Sunshine again (aka the Charlie Kaufman binge). Really excited to be studying film, disappointed i won't get to take film classes before i graduate.
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